Here's an example of courage in the face of challenge. I hope it will make a difference in your fight with reality - as it did mine.

'tis the week before Christmas and all through my bank is a series of debits, not a one of them blank.  My stomach is churning, my mind all a fog, the checking is empty - it's a miserable bog.

I ought to be thankful I live in America and "count it all joy", but what comes to mind is not printable here....

I reflect on the bank deposit I just made from 2 checks which arrived today without fore-warning.  The balance (after overdrafts) - a strong $4.00  Too bad that we value balances and credit more than character and peace.  I might have been more grateful that the checks even showed up.

"This year is different", I hear.  "It's the end of the Millennium... the start of something new."

Running back from the bank; the wind blowing straight at me, raining and dark, I pass the local soup line and homeless shelter.  

The only difference, I think, between the crowd and myself is that I passionately want to serve Christ; I have chosen to keep running and not wait in line; and I have a hope that a combination of Grace and Endurance will somehow make a difference in someone's life...  someone you know; maybe?

Living "on the edge of success" has always promised a view.

My perspective of abundance is much different than in years past.  I have food and a peaceful place to live. I can name a handful of people who truly love me, and I know who I am because of them.

Getting home, an exhausted woman in the elevator needed help pushing her cargo cart piled 5 feet tall with presents for her kids. My heart aches with the thought of what I can't do this year.

Angelina, my fiancée, makes me chuckle at the pony she creates from the manure of my banking - 

• I don't even need the $4.08 to tell my kids what their love has meant for me over the years I've had with them.  

• I can finally write a letter that expresses what I've always hoped they'd interpret in the gifts of the past.  

• I can slip a note inside a glass ornament and wait for them to read it - some year when the wind is blowing in their face and not at their back.

Just the thought that my challenges might have meaning to someone I love eases the pain of change.

Christ demonstrated that death is temporary.  So are the moments we have to express our love while we are alive.

Angelina, David and Carissa - I love you.  Thank you for making my life worth living.

And thank-you for reading this.  The thought that we share the struggle of making a difference in people's lives brings joy to me.

Daniel Comp,
Merry Christmas 1999

(P.S. We laid around the living room and looked at slides of the kids and I - all the wonderful memories they have given me. It brought tears to all of us. in most cases, they were too young to remember the wonderful adventures we've had in the past. The rich hugs and teary "thanks for the best Christmas" confirmed what I was learning... that expressing our appreciation and love is priceless.

"Thank you Jesus for teaching me what Christmas is really about.")