Darwin: Chickens, over great periods of time, have been naturally
selected in such a way that they are now genetically disposed to cross
roads.
Einstein: Whether the chicken crossed the road or the road moved
beneath the chicken depends upon your frame of reference.
Buddha: Asking this question denies your own chicken nature.
Ralph Waldo Emerson: The chicken did not cross the road ....it
transcended it.
Ernest Hemingway: To die. In the rain.
Colonel Sanders: I missed one?
Walt Whitman: To cluck the song of itself.
Jack Nicholson: 'Cause it (censored) wanted to. That's the (censored) reason.
John Paul Jones: It has not yet begun to cross!
Aristotle: To actualize its potential.
Roseanne Barr: Urrrrrp. What chicken?
William Shakespeare: I don't know why, but methinks I could rattle off a hundred-line soliloquy without much ado.
Thomas Paine: Out of common sense.
Groucho Marx: Chicken? What's all this talk about chicken? Why, I had an uncle who thought he was a chicken. My aunt almost divorced him, but we needed the eggs.
Karl Marx: To escape the bourgeois middle-class struggle.
Mark Twain: The news of its crossing has been greatly exaggerated.
Mr. Scott: 'Cos ma wee transporter beam was na functioning properly. Ah canna work miracles, captain!
Robert Frost: To cross the road less traveled by.
Sigmund Freud: The chicken obviously was female and obviously interpreted the pole on which the crosswalk sign was mounted as a phallic symbol of which she was envious, selbstverstaendlich.
William Wordsworth: To have something to recollect in tranquility.
Caesar: To come, to see, to conquer.
Rene Descartes: It had sufficient reason to believe it was dreaming anyway.
Epicurus: For fun.
TS Eliot revisited: Do I dare to cross the road?
Emily Dickinson: Because it could not stop for death.
Howard Cosell: It may very well have been one of the most astonishing events to grace the annals of history. An historic, unprecedented avian biped with the temerity to attempt such an herculean achievement formerly relegated to homo sapien pedestrians is truly a remarkable occurrence.
Gregor Mendel: To get various strains of roads.
Sisyphus: Was it pushing a rock, too?
Salvador Dali: The Fish.
Lee Iacocca: It found a better car, which was on the other side of the road.
Henry David Thoreau: To live deliberately ... and suck all the marrow out of life.
Mae West: I invited it to come up and see me sometime.
Gerald R. Ford: It probably fell from an airplane and couldn't stop its forward momentum.
Gottfried Von Leibniz: In this best possible world, the road was made for it to cross.
Candide: To cultivate its garden.
George Washington: Actually it crossed the Delaware with me back in 1776.
David Hume: Out of custom and habit.
John Milton: To justify the ways of God to men.
James Tiberius Kirk: To boldly go where no chicken has gone before.
Gilligan: The traffic started getting rough; the chicken had to cross. If not for the plumage of its peerless tail the chicken would be lost. The chicken would be lost!
Thomas Dequincy: Because it ran out of opium.
Socrates: To pick up some hemlock at the corner druggist.
The Sphinx: You tell me.
Oliver Stone: The question is not, "Why
did the chicken cross the
road?" Rather, it is, "Who was crossing the road at the same time,
whom we overlooked in our haste to observe the chicken crossing?"
Kindergarten Teacher: To get across; class.
Plato: For the greater good.
Aristotle: It is the nature of chickens to cross roads.
Karl Marx: It was an historical inevitability.
Timothy Leary: Because that's the only trip the establishment would
let it take.
Saddam Hussein: This was an unprovoked act of rebellion and we were
quite justified in dropping 50 tons of nerve gas on it.
Ronald Reagon: I forget.
Hippocrates: Because of an excess of phlegm in its pancreas.
Arthur Anderson Consultant: Deregulation of the chicken's side of
the
road was threatening its dominant market position. The chicken was
faced with significant challenges to create and develop the
competencies required for the newly competitive market. Andersen
Consulting, in a partnering relationship with the client, helped the
chicken by rethinking its physical distribution strategy and
implementation processes. Using the Poultry Integration Model (PIM),
Andersen helped the chicken use its skills, methodologies, knowledge,
capital and experiences to align the chicken's people, processes and
technology in support of its overall strategy within a Program
Management framework. Andersen Consulting convened a diverse
cross-spectrum of road analysts and best chickens along with Anderson
consultants with deep skills in the transportation industry to engage
in a two-day itinerary of meetings in order to leverage their personal
knowledge capital, both tacit and explicit, and to enable them to
synergize with an enterprise-wide value framework across the continuum
of poultry cross-median processes. The meeting was held in a park-like
setting, enabling and creating an impactful environment which was
strategically based, industry-focused, and built upon a consistent,
clear, and unified market message and aligned with the chicken's
mission, vision, and core values. This was conducive towards the
creation of a total business integration solution. Andersen Consulting
helped the chicken change to become more successful.
Louis Farrakhan: The road, you see, represents the black man. The
chicken 'crossed' the black man in order to trample him and keep him
down.
Martin Luther King, JR.: I envision a world where all chickens will
be free to cross roads without having their motives called into
question.
Moses: And God came down from the Heavens, and He said unto the
chicken,"Thou shalt cross the road." And the chicken crossed the
road, and there was much rejoicing.
Fox Mulder: You saw it cross the road with your own eyes. How many
more chickens have to cross the road before you believe it?
Richard M. Nixon: The chicken did not cross the road. I repeat, the
chicken did NOT cross the road.
Machiavelli: The point is that the chicken crossed the road. Who
cares why? The end of crossing the road justifies whatever motive
there was.
Freud: The fact that you are at all concerned that the chicken
crossed the road reveals your underlying sexual insecurity.
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