a battleship is returning home to port after maneuvers in the North Atlantic. The seas are stormy and gale force winds are blowing, so the captain of the ship has remained on deck to see the vessel safely to its dock. All of a sudden, the signalman shouts onto the bridge, "Captain, signal off the port bow !"
The Captain has only one concern at this point: he asks, "Is she steady or moving astern?"
If the signal is moving astern (towards the back of the boat), all is well; they are simply two ships passing in the night. But if the signal remains steady, that means they're on a collision course.
"Steady, Captain," comes the reply.
"Signal this," barks the Captain."
'We are on a collision course; suggest you change course 20 degrees.'"
The signalman does so, and the response comes back:
Suggest YOU change course 20 degrees. Now, it is quite rare for a Naval Captain to be told what to do in such a fashion. Never the less, the Captain retains his composure and, though a bit aggravated, commands his signalman to send the following:
"I'm the Captain of the U.S.S. _ _ _ _ _ , change course 20 degrees!"
Again, the reply comes back:
I am a signalman second-class-YOU change course 20 degrees.
Now the Captain is furious, and he roars the message,
"I am a battleship, you fool, YOU CHANGE COURSE !"
And the signal returns:
I am a lighthouse.
"Helmsman, change course 20 degrees"
"Eye-eye captain."
